FIRE AND ICE Read online

  Livia watched the way Adron leaned back on his elbows as he stared at her. His white shirt was pulled taut over the muscles of his stomach and chest. His broad shoulders were thrown back and his biceps were flexed with the promise of strength and power. The wind teased the white-blond queue. Goodness, he was gorgeous even with the scar on his cheek.

  "Tell me something," she asked as she paused in her pedaling. "Why was a royal heir in the League?"

  He sighed. "I wasn't the heir at the time I enlisted."

  The knowledge surprised her. "No?"

  "I used to have an older sister." The pain on his face was profound and went deeper than the one he wore when his body hurt him.

  "I'm sorry. What happened to her?"

  "She and my father fought over Thia's choice of a husband. In a fit of anger, she stormed out of the palace and vanished. My father's been trying to find her for years, but we've had no word of her."

  Now it all made sense to her. That was the real reason he hadn't killed himself. His family had already lost one child, and he had seen their grief first hand. Had felt it himself.

  "You miss her," she said, noting the agony in his eyes.

  "A lot. She used to arm-wrestle me to the ground."

  She smiled at the teasing in his voice.

  He sighed. "She was the best confidant I had growing up. I could tell her anything and know it would never reach the ears of my parents."

  She reached out and took his hand into hers. "Tell me something, Adron. Something you've never shared with anyone else. Not even Thia."

  "I'm the one who glued Zarina to the toilet seat when she was seven."

  Livia burst out laughing. "I was serious."

  "I am, too. I'd meant to get Jayce, but she made a mad dash for the room and ran into it before he did. Poor Taryn ended up taking the blame for it."

  "And you never confessed?"

  "If you've ever seen my father truly angry, you'd know the answer to that. I was only thirteen and my father was a giant to me back then."

  "So what happened to Taryn?"

  "He was restricted from playing ball for the whole summer season."

  Livia frowned. "That doesn't seem so bad a punishment. Why were you afraid to own up to it?"

  "Because I knew my father would punish me twice as severely since I not only did it, but I let someone else pay for it. My father is a firm believer in justice." He squeezed her hand. "It was a cowardly thing, I know, and I spent the whole summer, staying home with Taryn to make it up to him."

  "Did he know you were the one who did it?"

  He shook his head. "No. It's always been my guilty secret."

  And now it was hers, too.

  "What of you?" he asked. "Tell me who you were running from at The Golden Crona."

  Her face flamed. "It was horrible. My father was going to marry me to Clypper Thoran."

  "The Giradonal Governor?"

  "Yes."

  Adron frowned as he stared at her. "Good Lord, he's what? A hundred and fifty?"

  "Eighty-two."

  His jaw dropped as he shuddered. "Your father was going to marry you to an eighty-two year old man?"

  She nodded. "He wants a trade agreement with them, and Clypper wanted a young wife."

  "No wonder you didn't mind me," Adron said with a snort. "One way or another, you were bound to end up as some man's nursemaid."

  She lost her temper at him, then. "You know, I'm tired of your self-pity, Adron. Instead of thinking of all the things you no longer have, you should concentrate on what you do have."

  "And what is that?"

  "A family who loves you. And though your body is damaged, at least your mind isn't."

  "Yeah well, trapped in an invalid body happens to be my worst nightmare."

  Livia glared at him. "I would rather be crippled than mindless. My worst fear is ending up as a vegetable trapped in a whole, sound body. So, from where I'm sitting you have nothing to complain about."

  His frown deepened. "Why would you fear something like that?"

  "I saw my grandmother die that way. It was terrible. She lay in a hospital bed, hooked to monitors and machines for almost a year before they finally let her die."

  "Why did they do that?"

  "Because they couldn't let her go." Her look intensified. "If your mind was gone, Adron, you couldn't be here with me now. You wouldn't be able to see the sky above us, hear the children laughing or anything else. You would be trapped in cold, awful darkness."

  "Okay!" he said, wanting this conversation to end. It was too gruesome even for him to contemplate. "You made a good a point." She'd obviously given this a lot of thought. "You're right, I am a self-pitying bastard. But I will endeavor to be a little less so."

  "Promise?"

  "As long as you're with me, yes."

  ###

  Weeks went by as Adron tried to keep his word to her. Some days it was easier than others. And today it was particularly difficult.

  "Come on, Adron," his therapist said as she increased the weight on his leg. "You can lift it."

  Grinding his teeth against the pain, he hated the patronizing tone Sheena always used. Like a mother coaxing a small child.

  "That's it. You're doing fine. Good boy."

  "Go to hell," he snarled.

  "Adron!" Livia snapped at him as she came forward to stand beside him. "You behave."

  Adron curled his lip. This was the first time he'd allowed Livia to come with him to his therapy in the hospital. And if she kept that tone up, it would be the last.

  "It's all right," Sheena said. "He says that to me a lot."

  Livia reached out and took his hand in hers. Adron's heart pounded at the softness of her touch.

  God, he'd gotten so used to her. Had become dependent on her and that terrified him more than anything else.

  "Be nice," she said.

  Holding her hand over his heart, he nodded. And then he lifted his leg.

  "See, I knew you could do it."

  He ignored Sheena.

  "Okay, let's try some pulls."

  Adron let go of Livia and sat up slowly. But no sooner was he upright, than he felt the familiar burning in his chest. Two seconds later, his nose started bleeding and he coughed up blood.

  "Dammit," he snarled as Sheena grabbed a towel.

  He laid back down while Sheena ran to get Theo.

  Livia brushed his hair back from his damp forehead. The tenderness of her touch and look scorched him. And it made him yearn even more for a way to love her like she deserved to be loved.

  "Are you okay?" she asked.

  "I just damaged another internal organ. Who knows which one. Since they're all pretty much soup, it could be..."

  His voice trailed off as Theo came in with a Gurney and three orderlies.

  "You know, Adron," Theo said as the orderlies picked him up and placed him on the Gurney, "if you want to spend the night with me, there are easier ways of going about it. You could just ask."

  He wasn't amused by Theo's playfulness. "I want to go home."

  "Maybe tomorrow." Theo put an oxygen mask on his face.

  Adron pulled it off. Livia put it back on. Adron met her gaze.

  "I'll call your parents." Holding his hand, she walked beside him as Theo wheeled him through the familiar hallways.

  When they reached the scanning room, Adron reluctantly let go of her. Livia's heart was heavy as she watched the doors close behind him. How she wished she had her mother's healing powers. Her mother could make him whole again. So could you. True, but if she did, she'd lose him forever.

  ###

  Adron spent two days in the hospital before Theo let him go home again. While he'd been in the hospital, Livia had stayed with him the entire time and though it was selfish of him, he loved it.

  As soon as they were back in his flat, they had gone to bed and hadn't emerged except to attend basic needs like food and drink.

  ###

  Livia came awake slowly. She
blinked open her eyes to find herself lying in bed, wrapped in her husband's arms. Adron was still asleep, but even so, he had a tight grip on her as if he was afraid she'd vanish. Smiling, she picked his hand up and placed a kiss over his scarred knuckles. Then, she heard someone in the outer room. At first, she assumed it was the cleaning lady who came twice a week, until she heard Taryn call Adron's name.

  "Hey, bud," he said, throwing open the door, "I need..." Taryn took one look at them lying naked in the bed and turned around to give them his back.

  "Sorry, Livia," he said. "I assumed by three o'clock in the afternoon the two of you would be up."

  Adron rubbed his stubbled cheek against her shoulder as he came awake. "I need to learn to lock my door," he said.

  She laughed.

  Taryn snorted. "I'm going to go out here and wait until you two get dressed."

  Adron brushed his hand over her hair and she felt his erection against her hip. "Why don't you keep walking until you get to the other side of the front door?"

  "Ha, ha," Taryn said as he closed the door. "By the way, your wife has a great body."

  Heat exploded across her face.

  Adron gave her a stern frown. "Say the word, and I'll kill him for you."

  She smiled. "It's okay, if you did that, Tiernan would miss him."

  Adron rolled over slowly and reached for his injector and medicine on the night stand.

  Livia cringed as he gave himself a shot in the stomach. How she wished he didn't have to do that every few hours. Unfortunately, he would have to do it for the rest of his life. His features strained, he left the bed and dressed. While he went to speak to his brother, she headed into the bathroom for a shower. She took her time, letting the hot water cascade over her, until she felt someone watching her. Turning around, she saw Adron leaning against the wall, staring straight at her.

  "You startled me," she said while the hot water slid against her back.

  "Sorry, I was just wishing I could join you."

  It amazed her how comfortable she'd become around him. Her nudity in front of him had long since ceased to bother her. As did his. In fact, she'd learned every dip and curve of his tawny flesh. Every scar.

  She glanced over to the tub a few feet away. "Want me to join you?"

  He smiled. "Yes."

  Livia turned the shower off, then ran them a tub full of water. Adron got in first, then pulled her in on top of him.

  "Careful!" she warned as a wave of panic went through her. "I don't want to hurt you."

  "You could never hurt me," he said, then he claimed her lips with his.

  Livia moaned. Oh, but she would never get tired of his kiss. His touch. Pulling back, Adron stared at her in awe. Her lips were swollen from his kiss and her cheeks red from his whiskers. He ran his hand over her ravaged skin.

  "I'm sorry," he said, reaching for his razor in the cubby hole in the wall above his head.

  She sat beside him, watching him shave with a frown on her face. "Wouldn't that be easier with a mirror?"

  "Probably."

  "Then, why don't you use one?"

  He paused and looked away from her. "I don't like looking in mirrors and I damn sure don't want to do it first thing every morning."

  She took the razor from his hand and to his shock, she shaved the scarred side of his face. "You are incredibly handsome."

  Adron stared at her doubtfully. "When I was younger, I was really vain about it. Zarina used to tease me that I looked at my reflection so much that one day the Tourah beast was going to come and steal my face from me." He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I guess she was right. He did."

  Livia rinsed the soap from his face. "You know, there is a bright side to all you suffered."

  "And that is?"

  She hesitated as if gathering her thoughts. "Tell me truthfully, Adron. If Kyr hadn't scarred you, would you have taken me home that night at The Golden Crona? Would you have even looked twice at me?"

  Adron opened his mouth to deny it, but he couldn't. She was right. She was beautiful to him now, a vital part of his life, and yet he would never have looked twice at her before Kyr had crippled him. That thought cut him all the way to his soul.

  "I wish I could be whole for you," he whispered. "I wish I could hold you and dance with you, take you in my arms and make love to you the way I want to."

  "And I'm just grateful I have you, at all. It's not your body or face that I love, Adron. It's your heart, your soul, and your mind."

  He trembled at her words, then he pulled her to him and kissed her. She moved carefully into his lap.

  Adron nibbled her lips as he felt her sliding her hand over his shoulders, down his arms. She lifted her hips, then impaled herself on him. They moaned simultaneously. Bracing her hands on the edge of the tub, she rode him hard and fast, making him blind from the pleasure of her body surrounding his. And for the first time, he was grateful to Kyr. Grateful he'd found Livia. God help him if anything should happen to her. She was the one thing he could never lose. The one thing that could truly destroy him. His throat tight, he watched her as she climaxed in his arms. The pleasure on her face tore through him. And as he felt her body tighten around him, he surrendered himself to his own release.

  Livia started to collapse against his chest, then barely caught herself before she hurt him. She smiled at him, but she saw the turmoil in his eyes, felt him go rigid over her action. It always hurt him when he realized the frailness of his body. She would give anything to remove that look from him forever. Would you give your life?

  "I love you," she said.

  As usual, he said nothing as he shifted away from her.

  Livia sighed. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings. But it was too late, he was closed off from her again.

  ###

  By the time they dressed, it was nearly dinner time.

  "You want to go out to eat?"

  Adron's question startled her. "No, it's okay."

  He looked at her skeptically. "C'mon, you can't spend your life locked in this apartment."

  "Are you sure you feel up to it?"

  "Truthfully? I hate being stuck here all the time. I was never a home-body."

  They didn't go far, just a few sectors over to a quaint restaurant. Adron sat beside her with his arm wrapped around her as they waited for their food.

  "I don't believe it."

  Adron went rigid at the voice.

  Livia looked up to see a man who looked so incredibly similar to her husband that she knew he must be Jayce. Jayce's green eyes were warm with friendship. He extended a hand to her.

  "You must be Livia."

  Before she could move, Adron knocked his arm away. "You're not welcome here. Why don't you slink off into the hole you crawled out of?"

  "Oh, that's real original. Look, can't we just put it behind us?"

  Adron's response was so crude that it sent heat over her face.

  Jayce went flush with his rage. "Fine, wallow in your self-pity."

  He turned to leave.

  "That's right," Adron snarled, "turn your back on me, you coward. That's what you were always best at."

  Jayce whirled about and grabbed Adron out of his chair. Livia gasped as she rose to her feet.

  "Don't you ever call me a coward. You, of all men, know those are fighting words."

  "Why not? It's true, isn't it? You dare wear a League uniform yet you betrayed your oath to them and you betrayed your oath to me. You are nothing but a self-righteous coward."

  After that, everything happened in a blur.

  Jayce bellowed, then swung.

  Adron ducked and caught Jayce a staggering blow against his jaw.

  Trained and honed as an assassin, Jayce acted on auto-pilot as he returned the blow with one of his own. A fist straight into Adron's heart.

  Livia heard the horrendous sound of bones breaking. The force of the blow knocked Adron back, into the table. Before he hit the floor, Livia knew he was seriously injured.

  "
Oh, God, Adron," Jayce gasped as he knelt beside him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. It was completely reflexive. Oh, God, I'm sorry."

  Adron couldn't answer. Livia watched, horrified by the paleness of Adron's face as his breath rattled loosely in his chest. She'd never seen panic in Adron's eyes, but she saw it now and that scared her most of all. Jayce called for a med tech unit, but it was too late. Adron's breathing was growing shallower.